1. Don't -ask, "What can I do to help?"
1. Do --say, "This is what I'm going to do to help."

2. Don't -ask, "How is your deployed family member doing?"
2. Do --write or e-mail that person directly.

3. Don't -worry about a soldier overseas.
3. Do --send a care package.

4. Don't -ask, "How are your kids holding up?"
4. Do --offer to baby-sit or take them to the movies.

5. Don't -offer money.
5. Do -- pay a little on a bill or treat the family to a meal.

6. Don't -watch the war on television with them
6. Do -- go fishing or play ball or a game; be silly and laugh with them.

7. Don't -be a false friend.
7. Do --be real and be supportive.

8. Don't -stay indoors.
8. Do --plan special outings, like a picnic in the park.

9. Don't -refuse to talk about the war.
9. Do -- be available when they need to talk, but not for more than 30 minutes at a time.